EMOTIONAl is how I can describe our last visit to London!!!

We had a good clinic visit while in London,  it was the after math that turned into one of the worst days of my life!!!!!!!!  All her blood work is good, We did a 24hr uring sample and a peritoneal fluid drain sample and no concerns.  He is concerned that her iron is low so we added one more iron pill for the day.  knock on wood the iron pills are not upseting her stomach at all.  That is a good thing becasue I guerss it is very common for that to happen.  We also discovered at this visit she may have an allergy to nickel.  She breaks out in a rash on her hand every once in a while so that is something new we have to watch for.  Not a big deal but still concerning.  Once we were done in regular clinic Breanna had to have something to at, so dad took her for a bagel at timmies.  With that she had a rootbeer.  For breakfast on our way up she had a bagel and apple juice.  After she ate we wnt over tot he catheter clinic to start training.  This is where the day turned into a NIGHTMARE.
We had no idea what to expect going on.  We did sit with Dorothy Harris who is the oerson we will talk to and be trained through. She is the catheter go to person.  She went over a bunch of information on all the supplies we need and pictures of the steps to take.  We watched a 12 minute video of kids that do this for themselves daily.  It shows us that,  once Breanna gets used to it,  it will become second nature for her.  (This will take awhile)  Breanna has had alot of things she has had to learn to do to survive on a daily basis.
This is just one more thing that we will both get through.  It is not going to be easy but we understand how importanmt this is.   It is not a permanent catheter.   It is something she has to do 4 times a day manully. 
Breanna is very private.  She does not like anyone looking at her private areas let alond mom having to get right in there to insert a catheter.  Having to do this to my daughter is HEART WRENCHING.  I know I will get through it becasue I have to.   THAT IS WHAT I HAVE TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our very first day, we had to do this.   I went in with an open mind and thought, OK  this will just be another part of our daily routine!....When I seen the HORROR on Breanna's face,  I knew it was going to be rough.  I just didn't know how rough.  Having to touch her and insert a tube into her Urethra is NOT FUN.   Listening to her SCREAM in pain yelling at me to take it out, ripped at my heart. 
We didn't get any urine and we finished,  I pulled it out and me and Dorothy switched places so that I could my daughter and cry with her.  That I did!!!!!!
I do have some supplies here and we have to get it started in baby steps.  I need to work on gettinmg through this and helping Breanna get through this.  I know once we have a few timeas done, it will get easier.  Just like everythng else.  But I also know that this over ANYTHING ELSE, will take ALOT of TEARS.  AND ALOT OF TIME!!!!!!!!!
I have to see where I can get supplies from,  this is not something that is covered with the other supplies.  So today I will go shopping to see what I can get and start the process.   Tomorrow will not be a fun day.  As we try it again. 
Just when I think we can get on with our day.  We go to Jack Astors for Dinner.  I figured it would be for lunch but we were at clinics until 4:30.  So as we sit there Breanna was hungry and starting to get some pain in her upper stomach.  Heartburn area.   We figured maybe she was hungry.  She was hungry but eating some bread and some cecear salad did not help that pain at all.  She had a few bites of her Chicken Fingers and that was it.  Her pain got worse to the point where she was struggling to breath because it hurt.  I called the hospital just to check in and see if we should be concerned.  She did have a rough afternoon afterall.    The residant neuphroligist did suggest we bring her in just to make sure.  I was not even off the phone yet and dad was taking her, crying out to the car.  So off to the ER we go.  They could not get a blood pressure reading becaause she was in so much pain she was screaming.  They got her a bed and she was able to lay down, with a warm blanket of course.   She loves her warn blankets.  This seemed to relax her a bit and she calmed down.      Eventually the pain started to subside,  her blood pressure was 118/58.  A little high but normal.  They did another urine sample, ultra sound of her chest, her stomach, and an EKG.  No Concerns.  Dr Filler did order a stronger pain med that he wants her to take for atleast a week.  We have to monitor her diet daily and get her to drink more water.  She is already used to a restricted diet so it should not be that big of a deal.  FINALLY back on the 401 for home at 10:30.  What a long day!!!!!!   I was so Emotionally drainer for the rest of the night and the whole day afterwards while attending a work meeting all day in Chatham.  Then IO took the girls to Pat and Hanks for dinner and enoyed a family night out at the movies.  We need to do more of this for sure.  It was a fun outing after a long day.  Breanna has only had one small dose of upper stomach pain but it was gone as fast as she told me it was there.  She is feeling good and ready to get on with her day.

Another day!  Another Tear! Another survival!